The Belly Button Connection

Hello and welcome to The Belly Button Connection! My name is Brandi, creator of The Belly Button Connection. The Belly Button Connection is for mothers: aspiring, expecting, and yes, even the veteran moms who've seen it all and done the rest. While attending a DONA doula training course (you'll learn what a doula is soon enough) I listened to women share their birth stories good, bad, and ugly. I listened as the veteran moms shared all of the things they wished someone had told them about pregnancy.I listened as the expecting moms voiced their fears, uncertainties, and hopes for themselves, their babies, and their partners. And as we all made our ideal birth plan I was shocked at how most of us wanted the same basic things: healthy mom/healthy baby, a health care profession/clinical personnel with the same birth philosophy as the mother, the option to give birth in a location and position that was most comfortable for the mother, a spouse/family member/friend there for support, a physician that will "allow" the mother to labor and/or deny pain medication as long as she and the baby were not at risk, and the ability to bond with the baby immediately after birth. Being an aspiring mother I felt so fortunate to be amongst this very diverse, yet strikingly similar group of women as their shared their birth experiences. Being a babysitter, training to become a doula, and currently studying to be a midwife has given me the opportunity to learn this information prior to being spread eagle with my feet in the stirrups wishing that my first childbirth experience had been different. Unfortunately, there are too many women who aren't so fortunate. It may take 1 or 2 births before they decide that their next childbearing experience will be drastically different from the previous births. The Belly Button Connection will be a forum for all mothers to share this precious gift that God has given us, but most importantly, it will be a wealth of knowledge to aspiring and expecting mothers educating them on the act of childbirth so they will know what their ideal birth is without having to endure a negative experience first. Again, welcome and I am looking forward to discussing the miracle of childbirth with you!

Significance of the Belly Button

Pull up your shirt. Look at your belly button. Rub around it. Rub inside of it (or over it if you have an outty). This is proof that you were in your mother's womb (in case you needed it). Your belly button is the scar left from your connection to her. When a baby is formed in the womb the umbilical cord connects the baby and the placenta. It is through this connection that the baby receives oxygen and nourishment. If the umbilical cord isn't functioning properly the baby will not receive enough nourishment to grow. Later in life the significance of belly buttons are forgotten and they are downgraded to homes for sweater lint and barbell piercings, but the belly button was once essential to our early development. I view pregnancy and labor and delivery in a similar light. A mother's disposition and her ability to make educated choices about her child's birth affects the bond with her child both in the womb and later in the flesh. Her self-esteem, ability to provide, arguments with her partner, and support from family and friends (or lack thereof) shapes her attitude towards her unborn. I believe that every woman should enjoy her pregnancy to the fullest! The Belly Button Connection is a place for women to celebrate their pregnancy and themselves. When a person is educated enough to make informed decisions and feels mentally, physically, and emotionally in control it brings about a sense of empowerment. This is especially true for a pregnant woman who is changing into a woman she doesn't recognize more and more as the days pass. Everything mom feels baby feels. When mom is stressed, baby lives in a distressed environment. Some stressors are inevitable, but thankfully most are avoidable. The mother-baby connection is so very important. And, every mom deserves to feel special and loved during her pregnancy. The Belly Button Connection was designed with this ideal in mind. The Belly Button Connection is a place where love and positivity exists and judgements and negativity are tossed in the fire, a place where a pregnancy is treated like the blessing it is.

My lil' inspiration: Baker "Faker" Lewis

Babysitting was my sole source of income while attending college. I provided childcare for over 100 families. I have a soft spot in my heart for all of my babies, especially those I provided long-term care for, but there is one family in particular that I know I was destined to meet. In April 2008 I responded to an ad on Craigslist to care for a 2 month old lil' boy named Baker Lewis. Caring for Baker was a breeze because like most 2 month olds, he slept, played, ate, and did it all over again. Well, some days he was an avid bottle protester and only wanted milk out of mommy's milk containers, but who can blame him? A sitter can usually find a way to bond with the child, but I've found that it's not always so easy bonding with the parents. When I'm looking forward to seeing the mom as much as I am the child it makes the job so much more enjoyable. I actually feel like I'm an extended part of the family and not just the hired help. From the day I interviewed until the day that I resigned, Rebecca was always very sweet and personable. Sometimes she would sit in the sun room with me and Baker and we'd talk about my classes, my family, her college experience, her family, and even her childbirth experience with Baker. One day she mentioned that I reminded her of a Peace Corp worker. I thought that was kind of funny because just a year or so before I had seriously contemplated volunteering with the Peace Corp as a maternal health worker in a village. After mentioning my passion about childbirth and the field of maternal and child health, Rebecca said that I would probably enjoy being a doula. At this time I had never heard of a doula and inquired further. I learned that a doula is a nonmedical person who is attentive and compassionate to the laboring mother. Doula is the Greek word for woman caregiver or woman servant. The Doula Book by Klaus, Kennell, and Klaus define a doula as an experienced labor companion who provides the woman and her husband or partner both emotional and physical support throughout the entire labor and deliver, and to some extent, afterward. Rebecca hired a doula for her natural childbirth of Baker and said my personality was similar to that of her doula. That evening she sent me home with her book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. I loved it! I had heard too many birth horror stories and this book talked about the spiritual and loving birth I had always dreamed of for my children. In October I attended DONA's (Doulas of North America) certified doula training and am in the process of becoming certified. I knew early on that I met Rebecca and Baker for a reason. Sometimes God sends a big dose of inspiration in the smallest packages.

**Keep up with Rebecca, BJ, and Baker at http://www.lemongrass.typepad.com/.

Beautiful Bellies!

I'm always amazed at how different pregnant women's bellies look. Some are very low and elongated while others are perfectly round. Some women look 6 months when they're 9 months and some 9 month mommies look like they're 2 months overdue! Some women get stretch marks all the way up to their breasts and others only get a few marks around the base. No pregnant belly is the same, but they're all beautiful. Before you roll your eyes and log off hear me out! I know the physical changes aren't always pleasant. Trust me, my mom tells me and my siblings every family gathering just how each of us ruined her once supermodel body. But, when you see those lil' hands and kiss that lil' face, it really makes it all worth it. Send in photos of your pregnant bellies and let us tell you just how beautiful they are!

I Wish Someone Told Me That...

Many women go into childbirth and come out on the other end wondering why their moms, sisters, friends, and doctors didn't tell them that they just might go potty on the table and it's NORMAL. Why did no one tell me I could have gotten a mirror so that I could watch my baby's birth? Why didn't I know about the "walking" epidural? Why wasn't I told that the epidural could affect my baby's ability to latch on and breastfeed? Why was my baby whisked away? Did I need an episiotomy? Was I supposed to automatically know how to push? Who are all these extra people? Who knew that pedicures could stimulate labor?

What are some things you discovered during or after childbirth that you wish someone had told you?!

When the Birth Plan Backfires! CODE WORDS!

Alright so you have this great birth plan! You've written it down to the letter. Now you're in labor and you really want pain medication. In fact, if you don't get any you will reach down and rip the baby out yourself! But, your doula continues to remind you that you said no meds no matter how much you beg. Hmmm...what to do? Well, for situations like this, you need a code word. Sometimes we whine and whine but we're really whining for the sake of whining and not because we actually feel defeated and want to give in. And, other times we whine because we really need something to change and quickly! Create a code word with your doula so that she knows when you're just being a pouty-face and when you're really ready to make a change of plans. But, only use the code word when you're really ready to alter your plans. (By the way, your body was born to give birth so this panic face shouldn't be a mirror of your child-birthing self. This is just a funny, exaggerate image.)

What's Your Perfect Birth?

While at a birth doula training RNs Cindy Kerbs and Anne Branham had us describe our ideal birth. We answered the following questions (see my answers in bold):

We are assuming that everyone wants healthy mommy and healthy baby so do not include these in answer.

1. My 3 top priorities for this birth are: serenity, support from my husband, nurture my baby immediately after birth
2. For me, the ideal place to give birth is: water birth at home
3. And, I want to make sure the following things are there: soothing music, my husband, candles, cold fruit/beverage
4. For my birth, the ideal clinical personnel are: someone with my same birth philosophy
5. I want to have the following people there for my emotional support and well-being: husband, older sister
6. For me, the best approach to pain relief is: movement, focused breathing, physical support
7. The following are also very important to me: controlled birth environment

It's important to create a birth plan. It gives you and your labor team an idea of what you want during your labor. Everything might not go exactly as planned, but at least they have an idea of how you would like to labor. A lot of women go into a situation expecting the labor team to create an environment for them. Whatever they say goes even if I feel uncertain about their decisions. Don't do this. Read, read, read! Remember things that calm and relax you and convey them to your doula so that she can use these techniques even when you are too out of it to ask. Knowledge is always a tool for empowerment. Don't wait until you're in the delivery to feel confused and out of control. Take a moment to create a birth plan. Take control of your child's birth today.

Skills Weekend (Dec. 5-7) with Licensed Midwife Lisa Aman

High school friends Caryn and Carey get ready to "give birth" with Licensed Midwife/Nurse Denise Norris

Caryn getting tickled over Carey's exhaustion from her pretend labor

Lora practicing her BP skills on me

Ta-da! She got her sterile gloves on without contaminating them!

Denise using the 10's on my neck to relax my muscles and distract me from my "labor pains"

Midwife Lisa Aman demonstrating for midwife apprentice Carey Collins

My midwifery apprentice notebook that I self-decorated. Pretty cool, huh?

I am a student midwife under Licensed Midwife Lisa Aman. Lisa holds midwifery skills weekends every other month for students who are interested. This month's skill was about the the history of midwifery. The other skills weekends will cover 1) communication and charting skills 2) policies and procedures 3) well woman care and 4) herbs and alternative medicine. Skills weekends are required for SC students, but may be optional for students in other states. Lisa videotapes the round-table discussions if a student is unable to make it. This was my first skills weekend and my first time meeting Lisa and the others. I had an awesome time learning my first set of skills and discussing childbirth with the other students. Being new and overly eager to learn, the actual skills sessions were my most favorite activity. One worksheet showed us the 37 fetal positions a baby can be in. It was then that I realized this isn't going to be a piece of cake. I have LOTS to learn. Who knew there was room for 37 fetal positions in the womb? Geez! And, then there's all the medical terms. No wonder moms are so confused! Have no fear, TBBC is here! Ready for a lil' lesson?

Left - momma's left side

Right - momma's right side

Anterior - front

Posterior - back

Transverse - side

Sacrum - butt

Frontum - forehead

Mentum - chin

Scapula - shoulder

Occiput - back of head

Got that?

So, what position is this fetus in?

Head is facing mom's front = Anterior

Shoulder is presenting part = Scapula

Baby is laying on mom's right side = Right

RIGHT SCAPULA ANTERIOR

Head is facing mom's front = Anterior

Back of head is the presenting part = Occiput

OCCIPUT ANTERIOR

Go to http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fetal-positions/PR00080 for a slide show on some of the basic fetal positions. But, remember, there are 37!!